Pg 244 Free Write

I have encountered many conflicts with my mother. One of the main conflicts I encountered growing up was my method of consoling my younger brother in high school. Whenever my brother had a social problem, I was the first one he would come to. When my brother Jason would tell me of his girl problems I would tell him that he was over reacting and that his problems weren’t that bad. This advice would infuriate my mother because she believed that I was being insensitive to my brother.
Our book states “women reassure each other by implying that the other party shouldn’t feel bad because the women herself has suffered a similar experience. Men reassure each other by saying that the other party shouldn’t feel so bad because their problems are not the horrific” (Beedles 243). My mother was disapproving with the way that I consoled my brother because I was going against her natural tendencies to console people. If I was naive to think that my way of consoling people and if I would have understood her viewpoint, I could have resolved conflict.

I also encountered intimacy issues with my girlfriends. I would not like to talk about my feelings because my dad had always trained me that men are not supposed to show their emotions. “For women, talk creates intimacy, and for men it is the opposite” (Beedles 244). If I would have been able to recognize that my girlfriend felt secure by talking, I would have been more comfortable engaging conversation with her and growing intimate with her. Understanding how your partner feels is the key to developing relationships.